John Lucas

John Lucas was an average bloke with dreams and aspirations of becoming an architect. Architecture had always fascinated young John. John’s school projects usually were on unique and differently shaped buildings made by hand out of paper or cardboard or both. John had a knack of stacking up empty match boxes to form a recognizable house or a multi-storied building or a school complex. As a child, John was gifted with the art of drawing too. The outlines of the buildings and bridges he drew were very crisp and visually appealing. He would intensely read architecture based magazines that were kept on tables in a waiting lounge of a hotel or at a friend’s place. At school, he was an average student with grades that were almost consistently average throughout the year. Except for drawing or art classes where he inevitably stood first. Much to the chagrin of the class topper who usually came last in the drawing class. A few of the girls liked John for his ability to draw neatly. The rest flirted with John just to have a cube drawn to perfection though he wasn’t exactly an eye candy. A shy John would nonchalantly agree without responding to their flirtatious behaviour. Sara, a quite and beautiful girl, wasn’t one of them. Among the top five students in class, Sara was slightly better than most girls at drawing. Hence she never saw the need to flirt with John just to have a drawing complete. Sara and John rarely spoke to each other. Both were nervous to start a conversation. Even if one of them did, the conversation would last just two seconds with both exchanging just Hi and Bye. At the high school prom, John spotted Sara in a stunning dress. Their eyes met. Sara waved nervously at John. He began to quiver when she started walking toward him. “Hey Sara, you look wonderful! “ John managed to utter the words without collapsing under pressure. “John thanks so much for saying that! And you look very handsome for once!” John burst out laughing. Sara’s mild sarcasm boosted his self-confidence somehow. There was a moment of awkward silence after that. “Sara..uh..I..wo..would..would you..like to d..da..dance with me?” John asked, feeling a massive lump in his throat. “Sure I’d love to John!” replied Sara. His head began to swell with her fragrant perfume when he held her hand not knowing the correct way. “Oh John not that way! Your right hand should be on my waist and your left hand holding my right hand! Haven’t you danced before?” Sara said in a mildly mocking tone. “Of course I have! “ He lied. “I’m just in a state of shock”.
“May I ask why!” asked Sara. “Ok fine I lied, I’ve never danced before and I’ve never seen a girl more beautiful than you” John shot back and wondered how those words came out. Sara was stunned by what she just heard. She had never heard anything more wonderful than his words. After high school John and his mother Celina moved to a different city. Sara never heard from John after that night.

Celina, John’s single mother, loved and cared a lot for her only child. Celina worked as a Nurse at the Government hospital. Her income was just about enough to give John his annual Christmas present. John cheerfully accepted without putting up a fuss. Celina loved him that much more. As a child, John would make a nice house made of match sticks and cardboard and presented it to his mother and affectionately said “Mommy one day I’ll build you a house like that!” Celina was teary eyed at her only child’s love and affection. She kissed him on the forehead and held him tightly in her arms.

Once out of high school, John was very keen on pursuing his Bachelor’s Degree from a reputed University. Since his overall grades were just above average, he was finding it difficult to get an admission in his choice of University. He rejected offers from the local community colleges. “Son, I think you should take up this offer from the community college since they’re waiving almost half the tuition fee.” Celina spoke softly.
“Mommy I don’t want to join the community college though they’re waiving the tuition fee. I know it would make your life a lot better if you didn’t have to spend half your money on my tuition fee. But then, I’d rather not join the community college. I hope you understand mommy” John explained innocently. “Johnny darling you don’t worry about me. I’ll try to save up as much as possible for your tuition fee. It’s just that I’m getting old and the hospital isn’t such a nice place to work after all.” Celina replied. “Fine mommy, I’ll get in touch with Aunt Betty in Chicago. She knows a place I can work during the summer holidays. They pay well for people who can assist architects with technical drawings.” said John. It would be three years since he started working at the firm.


“Hi John, here’s a courier from University of Chicago” Said the pretty girl at the reception of Mayflower Apartments. “Oh really, thank you so much!” John replied.
“I hope they haven’t rejected my application” muttered John.
John took the elevator and reached his modest one bedroom apartment on the 4th floor. He flung his tote bag on the desk and eagerly opened the courier, barely able to breath with the increasing anxiety. The next moment would be his most happiest after he had dumped his bossy girlfriend a year ago. The letter of acceptance from his dream University was in his right hand. “At last “, he said to himself. Feeling relieved. Feeling very relieved. His knees began to weaken. He took a deep breath and crashed on his bed. “Boy am I dreaming this!” trembled John. He pinched his skinny right forearm to make sure he wasn’t really dreaming. His brown eyes were beginning to moisten. The chaos and agony had finally come to an end. John could barely come to terms with the good news. Finally John got a grip on reality a while later. John rang up his mother to tell her the good news. “Hey mommy, guess where I’m going this Fall!” exclaimed John.
“Son, son what happened please tell me quickly I can’t handle these things! Please tell me what happened to my Johnny!” cried Celina. “Well Chicago here I come!” screamed an overtly excited John. “Oh my good lord I am so happy Johnny! I..I just cannot believe my ears!” his mother screamed. Both became deliriously happy. Soon things fell into place and it was the first day at University of Chicago for John. His joy knew no bounds. There he was, facing the portals of learning, the place he had always dreamt of all his life. He felt his life had just begun. He entered the campus with his head held high. Laughing at his bossy ex-girlfriend, who was probably dumped again by some guy. He felt far superior to her. He quickly focused his attention to the more important things at hand, and closed her case for good. He began looking around at the astonishing buildings and perfectly manicured gardens with dozens of students spread all over the campus engaging in several activities. He found his way to the modern and sophisticated Sir William Bernard building which housed the architecture department. He followed the directions and arrived into a large classroom with about a hundred students or even more. He scanned the room for an empty seat; feeling intimidated by the size of the classroom, and found one in the very first row. Still nervous and excited, he barely noticed anyone around him. The class was yet to begin. A sense of happiness and pride filled the air in the room. It was the smell of sweet success. It was something John would give up almost anything in order to have it.
However, John was still nervous to look around and began the mountainous task of settling down when a voice next to him said, “Hi John, Remember me!” John turned and looked straight into Sara’s eyes.

WTF!

HDK Vs BSY

Ok before I set about expressing my views on the above topic, I’ve a confession to make [since I wanted to be on the safer side so that my blog “readers” {read judges!!} won’t have the opportunity to say ‘ dude this guy is just trying to be Karan Thappar!!]

I do not follow politics closely, be it state-level or national level or college-level! Anyway being a citizen of Namma Bengaluru, I was thinking why not pen my thoughts in my [Full-time] free time about certain events happening in and around my beloved city. Just yesterday, the BSY government celebrated its 100^th day of governance! What’s wrong in that, one may ponder. Now I’d like to clarify, I am neither a supporter of BSY nor a skeptic of the HDK government. Frankly, it makes no difference to an average [above or below as the case may be] Joe like me. Yesterday I was going through the newspaper and in the very second [and the following] page, was a picture of our beloved BSY clad in crisp white shirt and white pants [which made him look like a retired cab driver!] proudly grinning and claiming the achievements of his 100 day old baby [read government]. As if to bring the reader back to stark reality after reading the astonishing[!] achievements of the BSY baby, in the very next page was a picture of a million mindless heads led our mindless former chief minister, son of even more mindless Devegowda, HDK staging a protest against the failures of the present government somewhere in the middle of city which inevitably put commuters to severe hardship. As I was reading the report, I began to wonder if our HDK ever gave a thought to the people who went through the, as it is, never ending traffic problems? Did his protests improve the city? Why couldn’t he give an interview on TV9 [!] or go on Radio City and spread his message across the city? It’s appalling that our politicians resort to such senseless tactics to defame the opposition party. It’s even more disgusting that an inefficient and corrupt former CM points a finger at his whether-or-not-corrupt opponent. HDK’s one achievement, by far, has to be the simple luncheon at a humble farmer’s place in a remote village! Now forget about what present or past government has achieved. Put all the facts and figures aside because ,we citizens, for a fact know that we won’t see any improvement in most aspects of the city any time soon. If we just put our thinking caps on, we’ll realize that it’s not the failure on part of the system. But rather it’s the failure on part of the people who run the system. Even in the year 2008, when most cities abroad contemplate on some major issues such as hosting Formula One street races or hosting the next Olympics, we’re still greeted by the ubiquitous pot holes in any part of the city’s roads. Something which is rarely seen or never heard of by citizens in other parts of the world. Here, people’s homes get flooded during the monsoon. Notorious cab drivers play havoc on road with their lack of any traffic sense. We lack the basic infrastructure for a city the size of Bangalore. The list is never ending. To add to our woes, our politicians contemplate on banning drinking and smoking in public places [Not that I have a problem with that!] and how can I forget, a ban on night life! Sigh!!

Now I may be the millionth person to complain about the shortfalls of our city. But that will do no good anyway. Anyway we bengaloorians must adopt the American motto,” In god we trust” hoping at least god will make our city a better place to live in or stick to our good old “ Swolpa adjust madi saar!”

Disclaimer!

I am shocked and amazed at some people's insecurities! Some people have actually taken what's written on my, what I consider unimportant, blog seriously! I had no idea my "blog" would be so scornfully and critically reviewed and be [mis]judged! Oh and one more thing, I'm no Heath Ledger nor am I Kurt Cobain! Its only jerks who have come to conclusions about my blogs!!I hereby would like to caution my blog readers [judges] not to take any of the posts seriously and I certainly am not interested in your criticism or words of appreciation [ I hope I don't sound snobbish in saying the latter!!] The fact of the matter remains that I'm just trying my hand at writing!! Seems like I've provoked more unpleasant reactions than Salman Rushie or Taslima Nasreen have over their long and eventful career as authors! So go ahead and read my blog if you have fully understood the terms and conditions! Else, piss off!

Journey of life

I’ve no clue where to start or how to start. But I’ll try anyway. The journey so far has been eventful. Although it has never been an easy one. That’s the beauty of it all. Looking back at things that have happened, it seems like it was destined to happen.

The outcome hasn’t been what was expected. In fact quite far from it I must confess. And yet there is this frisson to it all. We’re human beings. The most complex living beings ever to walk the face of the earth. The more we try to understand the person we love the most, the more bewildered we become. And when we try hard and fail to come to a conclusion, we begin to face problems. Mostly emotional problems. This is because we have a sense of attachment to the ones we love. When we don’t succeed in establishing a tangible name to the sense of attachment the problems become grave. I’ve tried real hard to understand the ones that I love with the whole of my heart but with not much success. There are times when we spend some of the most memorable times of our lives. And as expected, we also go through some of the worst times of our lives, whatever the reason maybe. Sometimes the pain of losing a person is so excruciating that we cry. We shed tears because the pain cannot be taken away by anyone. The absence of a person makes us realize how much we really need their presence in our lives. But life is a bottomless pit until we die. And in this pit in which we are constantly being pulled toward death, we find people who steal our hearts. We find people who love us and are loved. We find people who become our source of strength and a pillar of support. We find people who inspire us. People who mean so much to us. Life is like a Rubik's cube. Most of us barely manage to restore the composite faces of the cube to a single color in time. The people we come across in our lives are like the composite faces of the cube. Rarely of the same kind. The goal is to restore each face to a single color. That never happens in our lives. People go their own ways. The force that unites and binds us is susceptible to weaken. Who’s to be blamed? It’s nobody’s fault. You love a person for what they are. You love a person because you see yourself in that person. That inevitably brings joy and happiness. That brings out the best in us. A lot of people talk about love. Only a few know what love truly is. Love is a journey through time and space. Perhaps the greatest emotion occurs when you love a person and are loved in return. On the contrary the most painful emotion occurs when your love is unrequited. It’s that simple. Sometimes the best thing one can do is just let change take charge of our lives. Sometimes not doing anything is also a solution. In the end, in my quest for the meaning of life, I have failed to distill the meaning of life and love. But that hasn’t really stopped me from searching. It never will.

Nostalgia

I miss the breath taking moments..
I miss the warm words..
I miss the silly fights..
I miss the mischievous lines..
I miss the laughter..
I miss the infectious smile..
I miss the chaos and mood swings..
I miss the passionate kisses..
I miss the black curly hair..
I miss the big black eyes..
I miss the gossip..
I miss the anxiety and the nervousness..
I miss the hushed secrets..
I miss the chirpy conversations..
I miss the tense moments..
I miss the pep talk..
I miss the best part of my life..
I will miss everything..
Maybe another life..maybe another place.

Good bye my lover

I ask myself who is this angel
Who stole my heart with such ease?
With her careless laughter,
Began this unstoppable happiness

I ask myself who is this angel
Who etched her name eternally?
In my dreams and in every moment
Began this unrequited love

I ask myself who is this angel
With child like innocence
Swept me off my feet
Began this unclouded affection

I ask myself who is this angel
With her graceful smile
Made me realize life is beautiful
Began this unforgettable joy

I ask myself who is this angel
Crooning on a fantasy island
Made me yearn and yearn
Began this unconfined pleasure

This angel, said my heart, is your lover.
My heart beats faster and faster
Makes me wonder is this a dream?
My fears come alive

My spirit trapped in time
My memories frozen
My darling I love you
My girl you’re the only one

In time and space
You will be gone
Far from my sight
My angel you’re the only one

Alas! The time has come to say goodbye
Good bye my lover
My heart is broke and dreams stolen
My darling to me you’re golden